I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
