There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will be naked everywhere
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
