so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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