dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
