Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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