Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
