how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
