the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
