Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
