i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
