i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
