so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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