Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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