if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
