More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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