She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize