You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
