I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
