Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize