Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
