Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
