shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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