Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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