They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
