Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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