your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
