I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
