Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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