Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
is it fun? or sober?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
