I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ugly people sure do ruin things
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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