I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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