yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
