I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
