so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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