Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize