as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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