oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
