If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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