Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
