who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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