By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
