Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
