He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize