I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry about my life...
I think people are normalizing furries
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
