she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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