Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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