Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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