You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
