The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
