Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize