Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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