What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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