no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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