So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
