hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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