I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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