I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
