I hope mine doesn't look like that
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
