The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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