Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
