We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
